Humor Touching Across Time
by Gexplosion
Summary: How is Truth or Dare, Electronic Spin the Bottle, and even a toilet bowl in the Feudal Era? A portal, of course! But where's Kagome to keep everything organized? InuxKag MirxSan
1. The Swirly ThingyMaJiggy

Humor Touching Across Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, that women with the nerdy glasses does.

Ok, this is like the fifth Inuyasha fan fiction I wrote and I'm getting bored of them. But, oh well I gotta do something for a living. Wait…I go to school for a living…whatever! I want to write a Fullmetal Alchemist fan fiction but my friend says I don't know that much and I'm a n00b…so there! Sticks tongue out to Bee I feel better now. P.S. The first chapter is more Adventure/Action than Humor but don't worry, next chapters will be more funny.

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**Ch.1The Swirly Thingy-Ma-Jiggy**

"Wind Scar!" Inuyasha said as he brought down the crimson red blade. The Wind Scar was hurling toward Naraku, but it wasn't enough. He deflected it with his almighty shield and it bounced towards Inuyasha.

"Oh great mutt. Thanks for trying to kill us." said Koga the leader of the wolf demon tribe as he ran in super speed, a whirlwind trailing off behind him. "Take this, Naraku! I'm going to have your head today!" he kicked the air in front of him, creating tornados heading towards Naraku. That too, was unsuccessful, when the winds vanished as it hit the shield. "Damn it."

"You two are pathetic, and you call yourself the leader of the wolf pack? I would say rabbit pack if I were you." Sesshoumaru said coldly. He took out his legendary sword, Tokijin and slashed at the air. Blue scars went collided with Naraku's ultimate barrier. He kept on swinging with no success until Inuyasha spoke up.

"It's not going to work, baka. But this is!" the Tetsusaiga turned into a diamond blade. "Diamond Spear Blast!" he swung the blade horizontally as shards of diamond came out and struck Naraku through the barrier.

"I'll be back." Naraku said as he coughed up blood from the damage that Inuyasha caused.

"Come back here you coward!" Koga shouted as he ran towards the fading Naraku. He was gone.

"Humph, I better not be hanging around some retarts. (A/N Yesh, retart is my own word, not retarD but retarT!)" Said the full dog demon as he flew away in a bright ball.

"Where's my fiancée, Kagome?" asked Koga.

"Kagome's in some kind of event in her ti—I mean country." Inuyasha said. As soon as Koga heard this, he ran away, probably back to his cave. But something caught Inuyasha's eyes. There was a faint shimmer on the ground ahead. He ran towards it, and saw the almost complete Shikon Jewel. His eyes widened as he picked it up, in gentle hands, almost scarred that it was a trick. '_Naraku must have dropped it when he disappeared' ._he thought. He clutched it in his hand, really tightly and ran back to the hut.

"Where have you been?" asked Miroku when Inuyasha entered the hut. There was a fire in the middle, with fish on sticks being cooked. Sango was eating one and so was Shippo.

"I, Koga, and Sesshoumaru smelt Naraku's scent. And then we were battling with him, but then he disappeared and I found this on the ground." he lifted his arm and opened his hand, revealing the almost round pink jewel. All their eyes dazzled with excitement, confusion, and wonder.

"What—When—How—Oh My God." said Sango.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Shippo.

"Complete it." Inuyasha replied.

"But Kagome has the final shards, and Koga too, and I bet plenty of other demons have it too." said Shippo.

"Whatever." Inuyasha said bluntly as he sat down.

"Can I hold it?" asked Miroku, his eyes very wide.

"NO! IT'S MINE! MY PRECIOUS!" Inuyasha screamed as his body rose up to defend the Jewel, and as he was under control by the Jewel. They all looked at him. "I'm sorry, I need to take a walk."

He was relaxed. The cold yet not that chilling breeze blew through his face and hair, and pine scent was comforting. He was laying down on the soft grass, the Jewel in his pocket. (A/N Yesh, he does have a pocket…I think) He inhaled the luscious air; his lungs filled his pine scent. He hasn't felt so relaxed and happy since he was with Kagome. But what did he do to Miroku back in the hut. It was like the Jewel was taking control of him. Maybe a hanyou like him couldn't control the effects of the Jewel. What? You just need to relax for a bit, he thought. You've been waiting for fifty years for this moment, so just enjoy it. But he couldn't enjoy it without Kagome beside him, always giving him advice, and arguing against him about his health. You don't need any girls, especially that one. She'll just interfere, he continued thinking. But he did need her, more than anything else in this world. The bushes were shaking all around him.

"Who's there? Or what's there?" he asked, looking all around him. He drew out his Tetsusaiga and sliced the air. "Wind Scar!" he cried as the bushes were shredded and Naraku showed up. "What are you doing here Naraku?" he asked cautiously, suspecting that it might be a trap.

"I plan to take my Shikon Jewel back, Inuyasha." Naraku said in a deep, yet poisoning voice.

"If you want it, come and claim it!" Inuyasha retorted. Then suddenly the Naraku in front of him disappeared and spider legs wrapped him from the back.

"You need to be more aware of things, young Inuyasha." The spider legs made it way into Inuyasha ribcage and the tips oozed out demonic poison.

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Inuyasha moaned. His face was blank, showing no expression at all. He fell to the ground, only his knees and hands supported him. The poison was spreading throughout his body, every beat of his heart the toxic would spread. Naraku dug into his pocket and got a hold of the Jewel of the Four Souls.

"You will never lay hands on this again!" Naraku whispered in his ear. He was walking away when Inuyasha stood up, but not balancing well. He was in his fighting stance (A/N The stance where he puts the Tetsusaiga in front of him), and ready to slash at his foe. The Tetsusaiga turned into diamond form as he lifted the fang over his head, then with one quick but deadly swing down into the ground the Diamond Wind Scar was unleashed.(A/N Yesh, I did make this up, but I something related to it in the Fourth Inuyasha Movie…so deal with it.) The scars of wind were diamond hard, with diamonds accompanying its way. It went straight into Naraku's body but he quickly turned into miasma and flew away. But the Shikon Jewel was still in the air, without Naraku, when the Diamond Wind Scar hit the pink gem. It caused a devastating effect; it cracked and a very heavy gravity was pulling Inuyasha into a condensed space. He dug the fang into the ground as the gravity continued. Right when he was going to be sucked into it, it closed up, forming a portal thing. Then Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were running towards Inuyasha.

"What happened? We heard a loud noise so we came here. And what is that pink swirling disc in the air?" Miroku asked.

"I have no idea, but I think it's what happened when I used the Diamond Wind Scar on the Shikon Jewel." Inuyasha said dumbly.

"You what?" they said in unison. They were all wide-eyed, just like when they saw the Shikon Jewel.

"Feh, not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" Miroku shouted. "You could have destroyed ¾ of the Shikon Jewel!"

"What is it anyway?" Sango asked, pointing at the portal.

"It's a Pink Swirly Thingy-Ma-Jiggy!" Shippo said with excitement.

"A what?" Sango said surprised.

"A Pink Swirly Thingy-Ma-Jiggy! Kagome taught me it!" Shippo repeated.

"Oh My God, what has Kagome been teaching you?" Sango asked. She was very surprised and shocked. (A/N This maybe a little perverted but Sango thinks the Pink Swirly Thingy-Ma-Jiggy is like a female's downstairs if you know what I mean. wink wink) Then suddenly a can of pop zoomed out of the portal. Miroku picked it up with caution, not knowing what it was.

"Hey, I saw that before, in Kagome's Era." Inuyasha said.

"This must be a portal to Kagome's Era!" Sango exclaimed.

"Cool." the boys said dumbly.

**END!**

So, how you like it? Good, eh? Yesh, I'm Canadian, and I'm a GUY and I'm 12 year old. Now I'm practically begging for reviews, and the humor part comes in next chapter. I guarantee. Remember, TELL YOU FRIENDS ABOUT THIS AND DON'T DO DRUGS! REVIEWS TOO, NO FLAMES!

**Preview for Next Chapter:**

Miroku held out a tin box, and it was labeled: Truth or Dare: Dirty Edition.

"Where did you get that?" Sango asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"The portal. Want to play?" he asked.

"Uh—oh." Inuyasha, Sango, and Shippo said in unison.


	2. Games of 'Fun'

Humor Touching Across Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha…"pish-posh".

So, like the story so far? Well, I just need more reviews because my old ones, which I deleted, had WAY more reviews. And I still am desperate for MORE reviews. And the last chapter was probably the longest chapter I have ever written in my entire life. But I still am trying to make this chapter longer…let's see how long it will get. AND REMEMBER, TELL YOUR FRIENDS OR COMPLETE STRANGERS, even hobos, ABOUT THIS FANFICTION! Thank you for your cooperation. Now, on with the story.

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**Chapter 2 Games of 'Fun'**

"Gahhhh!" Inuyasha screamed in pain as his knees and hands supported him as he fell down. A purple coloured blood was dripping out of Inuyasha's side, staining the ripped kimono. The demonic poison was spreading throughout his body, his bones melting away.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?" asked Miroku as he and Sango lifted Inuyasha up by the shoulders.

"Yah, what's going on with you today?" Sango added. Inuyasha looked very pale and his amber eyes were half closed. He couldn't really move; the poison paralyzed him.

"I—was fighting—Naraku—and then—he poisoned—me." the hanyou coughed out in a scratchy, not very audible voice.

"Miroku, can you purify the poison?" asked a worried Shippo.

"I'm sorry, this poison is really demonic. I'm not sure how to, but I can stop the poison from spreading. But still, if it stays in his body for so long, the bones will decay." Miroku said.

"Oh well! Hurry up and stop the poison from spreading any further!" shouted Sango. Miroku put magical sutras around and on Inuyasha's body. He said some incantations and waved his staff a little bit. But when he was twirling his staff, his knocked it onto Inuyasha's stomach, making the hanyou cuss A LOT to Miroku and ended up making the monk unconscious. But after that, Inuyasha's poison stopped spreading and Miroku looked for some herbs that could get rid of the poison.

But Inuyasha's nose was twitching. It was all over the place; on the trees, on the ground, even up in the air.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" asked Sango curiously. She was observing Inuyasha sniff near the portal. She was resting with Shippo on her lap, sleeping.

"I think I have Kikyo's scent nearby. I need to go find her. She might have the herbs to cure the poison." and soon off, Inuyasha went running into the forest.

"Wait, Inuyasha! You're supposed to be resting! And her scent could be a trap!" Sango yelled in worriment. Shippo sighed, "Ah, men." Sango looked at the little kitsune in her laps, surprised again. "Shippo, where are you learning all these 'phrases'? Kagome?" she asked. "Ah, women." he sighed.

As Inuyasha ran with his arms parallel to each other(A/N I always think he looks like an airplane), he caught a glimpse of a tall, feminine figure ahead. "Kikyo, is that you?" he asked.

"I—I—Inuyasha? You've finally came back to me!" shouted the deceased priestess as he dropped her bucket of herbs. She came running towards Inuyasha, getting ready for him to embrace her. Inuyasha suddenly came to a halt. Kikyo's expression of happiness changed into sadness. (A/N I personally HATE Kikyo…well, hate is a strong word…But is it strong enough?) "What's the matter, Inuyasha?" asked a scary looking priestess.

"Kikyo, I'm with Kagome already." Inuyasha said sharply. His facial expression showed a trust to Kagome's love. "I just wanted to see if you have any herbs I could use because I got some of Naraku's poison in my body." he said painfully.

"I see, so my reincarnation is yours… whatver, I don't need you, hanyou! But I will give you the herb, but I need to check what kind of poison it is first." Kikyo lifted the bandage and inspected the wound. "I see, this is a very dangerous poison. Good thing your 'posse' stopped the poison. Here, put this herb in hot water, and then drink it. It might taste bad, but it's the only way." She gave him the herbs and he left without saying a "Thank you."

When Inuyasha came back into the cabin they were staying in, Sango and Shippo were eating some cooked fish, as always. Inuyasha was drinking the herbed tea, saying word Shippo didn't need hear, and also that Sango was covering his ears. When footsteps came into the cabin, Miroku was back.

"What took you so long, Miroku?" Sango eyed the monk. "And did you find any herbs for Inuyasha, but that's not necessary now."

"Nope, but found something even better. Miroku held out a tin box, and it was labeled: Truth or Dare: Dirty Edition.

"Where did you get that?" Sango asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"The portal. Want to play?" he asked.

"Uh—oh." Inuyasha, Sango, and Shippo said in unison.

"It's just something to pass the time with. And Shippo, the rules say you have to be 18 and over to play this game." Miroku said happily. Shippo went to the corner, with ear plugs, and started colouring and humming to himself.

"How do you play this retarded game?" asked Inuyasha. He was lying on the floor, tired.

"It says I get to pick a card for the deck and ask whoever I want what it says on the card. And you have to pick Truth or Dare to see what card I should pick out." replied the lecherous monk. You could see in his eyes that he was very excited to play this game. "I'll go first," he said as he laid down the cards. "Sango, truth or dare?"

Sango was very nervous. "Truth." she murmured. Miroku picked a yellow card from the truth deck.

"Ok, have you ever had any oral experiences?" Miroku cried out laughing. Sango gawked with her mouth wide open and her pupils disappeared.

"Um…NO!" she yelled. "Ok, my turn. Inuyasha, truth or dare?"

Inuyasha was thinking, and then said, "Dare." Sango picked up a green card and giggled to herself. "I dare you to kiss Miroku passionately for a minute." Inuyasha was speechless; his mouth was open and he almost fainted.

"YAY! INUYASHA HAS TO KISS ME!" shouted Miroku as he clapped to himself. Everybody starred at him. "Did I just say that out loud?"

"Ok Miroku, let's just get this over with." Inuyasha sighed. He leaned over to Miroku, his lips touching the monk's. Then, they were inseparable. Their tongues flicked in each other's mouths, their warm breath soothing each other. Inuyasha's head twirled this way and that way, their arms wrapping each other. They soon were on the ground, continuing their passion for each other.

"Um, guys? You can stop now." She said. But they still continued, on the ground, lip to lip, tongue to tongue. "Now this is getting scary." She got her hiraikotsu and flung it, right at the middle of them so they separated.

"That was the best kiss I have ever had." The boys said in unison. Sango fainted.

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1 hour later

"Sango, are you alright?" asked Miroku as he harassed her. SLAP! SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP (A/N I may have gone a little overboard.).

"She seems ok now." Inuyasha laughed. (A/N I can not imagine Inuyasha laughing. ; I have a bad imagination.) Miroku was now on the ground, obviously unconscious, or maybe even dead.

Sango rose up, wrapped in blankets. "What happened to me?" she asked Inuyasha.

"You fainted."

"How?"

"Um—just because."

"Oh, I see." Suddenly, Miroku was conscious again! He yelled, "Let's play Truth or Dare again!" Sango fainted again.

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5 minutes after

"HOUSHI-SAMA! YOU ARE MAKING ME PASS OUT ALL THE TIME!" the female demon exterminator got her boomerang and started beating up the monk with it.

"Hey, about the game. It's my turn, so truth or dare, Miroku?" Inuyasha asked curiously.

"Daaaarrreee…" Miroku said in a weak voice, his body twitching like an ant that was going to die. Inuyasha picked up a card and read it to himself. He started laughing like a maniac to himself, and then spoke up,

"Miroku, I dare you to," he leaned down Miroku's ear and whispered something to him, "to Sango." Miroku sprang up and held his arms straight into the air. He was rejuvenated, his broken body no more.

"What does he have to do to me?" asked a scared and worried Sango. Inuyasha whispered in her ear and then… she fainted again. Miroku had a wide grin on his lecherous face and dragged Sango outside the cabin.

**END!**

Who knows what Miroku's going to do to Sango? If you review, I'll tell you in my next chapter! I'm desperate for reviews! **REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS! **(I've gone a little over board again.) **DESPERATE FOR REVIEWS! AND NO FLAMES PLEASE!**


	3. Announcement

Announcement

From the author,

I am sorry to say, that this fanfiction has NOT ended yet! Well, the reason I haven't updated yet is, well, the next chapter was suppose to be a lemon. I can't write lemons, but my friend, Niffwah, can. So I told her that she could help me write a lemon, and I sent her the file. So now I think she is STILL writing, but she doesn't go on computer much so, heck, I don't know. Anyways, thank you for being so patient with me, and I'm sure the lemon will be REALLY good! Well, it better be, or it wouldn't have taken so damn long! Anyways, I love you fans, and I would love even MORE fans. And MORE reviews, definitely.

P.S. Lemons are descriptive sex scenes. So some people may be offended, but heck, that's not my problem. The next lemon is a Miroku and Sango. My favourite pairing.

From, with lots of love,

- retartedwaDD


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